i feel sexually uncomfortable around my dad

You are stronger than you know and that is also in your favor. local policies and laws. As daughters age and develop, Hugo Schwyzer argues, it's important for men to overcome their discomfort and continue to show affection. His eyes seem to have only half a person behind them. . Hes been a member of the church his whole life, but he seems unhappy. Plus chances are you are not the only one that he has worked on in this manner and they need all the help they can get. But then I think of my brother, and my aging mother, who's taking care of both of them, and my confused old father, and I think, how can I not attempt it? It's wrong. Husband [39M] and I [29F] had a discussion about the My husband tested my sons paternity behind my back and Am I being paranoid or should I trust my gut? You're Censoring Yourself. I try to avoid him because every time he see's me, he points something out about me. when i was younger he had terrible anger issues and was emotionally abusive to my mom. For the first time in my life, my inner compass isn't pointing me anywhere. No please dont ignore your feelings. Im the same. But she dropped it as soon as I did, which was within a couple of months. Please help me Gramps. Why arent prophets giving us specific signs to watch for? I didn't feel good about going, but I felt worse about canceling. You deserve to thrive and not be just a survivor. Sigh.. I have always felt uncomfortable around my dad. Start feeling better today. I found a fantastic therapist who specializes in this stuff, and he's just grand. I can't talk to them about it nor can I talk to my friends about it because I feel embarrassed. Designed by Elegant Themes | Powered by WordPress. You are not alone. Was the restriction of unclean foods in the Bible a commandment. You will need that strength as you go forward. In lots of ways, he's had a rough life -- he had a mother who openly admitted not loving him, he had a lonely childhood, and he had a nervous breakdown when he was middle-aged. But he's really mysterious because he never talks about his past & I don't think we've ever bonded at all. am I being too sensitive? The earliest I can remember was I was about 12. I remember feeling uncomfortable about it, but my dad really liked it and he gave me his approval. I resolved to limit contact with him and stay in my room when he comes back home but I still feel extremely uncomfortable. I hired MEDIALORD hackingloop6@ gmail. [] (1)Why do the Chinese dislike milk and milk products? Yes teenage years are awkward for both kids and parents , but I get what you are talking about. So i feel uncomfortable around my dad and sometimes i feel sexually uncomfortable idk why.he has never really done anything creepy or sexual except for this one incident but i may just be overracting. Sometimes it feels like the way he looks at me is creepy but I can't be fucking sure. Note that these are actions, not expressions of being. Mr. Dearface was out at a lecture somewhere else on the island. He'd get a glazed look in his eyes when he was sexually aroused. I want to make everything all right, let it go. Any tips for dealing with intrusive thoughts? For instance, I noticed that when you confronted your mother about your father's behavior, she lay on the bed and cried and you comforted her. i feel uncomfortable around my dad reddit damascus cowboy knives charles monat glassdoor television without pity replacement June 29, 2022 capita email address for references 0 hot topics in landscape architecture Is it normal for a daughter to feel uncomfortable around her dad? Answer Rachel, What you describe sounds like sexual abuse of children. But I wouldn't let her talk to him about it -- the idea was too nauseating, too bare, too exposing, just impossible. Edit: I really appreciate all these comments and I hope people who went through the same this saw this and empathise so they know they're not alone. I'll be talking to my great therapist when I get home, if I can get an appointment to see him. Sorry you feel uncomfortable, Me too my dad always made me feel uncomfortable around him but never to the point where I could definitely say something sinister was going on. My mom and dad are still together. SweetJadeOctober 30, 2008 in Parenting and Families. You need to (1) report the matter to the local police so they can run an investigation onyour dad and try to figure out how bad it is. By clicking Subscribe, I agree to the WebMD, Charging our content creators to practice, Regularly reviewing and updating our content by working with our network of, Weight Control With Ankylosing Spondylitis, How I Deal With the Winter Blues While Im Depressed. I'm torn, absolutely torn. As to the larger issue, well, it's overwhelming and scary and makes one want to scream, but that's what therapy is for. I won't settle for anything less than someone I admire. Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. When I told her what I'd been feeling, her response was, and I quote, "Oh, damn." Im 22 and I have been treated bad by a older guy, but I was experiencing these things before that happened. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. I am so sorry you are experiencing this right now. I don't talk to him on the phone either. So no, thats not weird at all. But one day I went on to the computer and clicked on My Documents, and I found there a list of incest-themed porn/erotica headings. We do live together, but currently I see him rarely as he lives in the US at this moment for his job. All rights reserved. 909 opinions shared on Family & Friends topic. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. The only time he ever talks to me is to put me down about something. Are these relatively safe, or do you get into trouble talking on the phone with them? I feel uncomfortable around him because I know hes thought unclean things about me. Its made me feel like I'm paranoid. Sister walks naked around the house when parents are not around and this is extremely uncomfortable for me. I was so uncomfortable as Im still young. I am not comfortable with the energy we've created in the studio today B'). Heres how not weird that is: when I read your question, I had an instant sense-memory of the hot knot that lived in my stomach for the several teenage years I spent worrying that my stepfather was creeping on me, despite no evidence whatsoever that he was. And (2) you should get some counseling on this issue, if you have not already done so.Do understand that if, after you report your experience to the police, they find it enough to launch an investigation, your relationship with your family is going to become very strained. Mr. Dearface held me and took care of me, and within an hour or so, I felt better. A guide to deciphering recycling codes on beauty products. This is your dad you are talking about. Part of why you wrote what you wrote in your post is because you have to let it out. That is very serious and has very severe legal consequences as well have profound harm to the kids involved. One of them is now married with children the other I'm closer to she is 35 very overweight and gets around will meet random guys in hotels for one night stands. I was always glad to drop it whenever it would loosen its grip on me. I basically grew up alone. If you have any ideas on how to get through this Christmas, how to choose what to do, or any ideas on how to hold this messy thing, I would be so grateful. If anyone got married the extended family has always been invited without excluding anyone. Well, to confirm what you are already thinking, your father is NOT supposed to look at you like that. My grandfather watches a lot of porn and I remember telling my grandma and mom about it when I found out, but my grandma said "That's what men do." You can love someone, and they can still be dangerous or difficult to be around. I rushed out of there in tears with no explanation, fetched my sweetheart, and we went back to the cabin and briskly gathered our stuff. Your journey is just beginning and it is going to be a long one. Them?! I think it's fairly common. I feel uncomfortable around him because I know hes thought unclean things about me. Supportive, insightful, delicate, skillful, funny, compassionate. He was the only other person to have used my computer. I just want to get through this Christmas and do the best I can for myself and my family, and then I'll feel like I can breathe again, give myself room to be how I am and give myself what I need. Kartoff We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. He's just always been there & that's why I feel so uneasy around him. Conflicted trust issues, should I still stay. In deciding exactly how to manage your visit, it may help to avoid formulating the problem as an either/or situation. he was very controlling and the more I think about it the more I categorize this as emotional and verbal abuse. Yes, there is a name for it, it's called covert sexual abuse. I dont know how to handle this :(. But he should be able to work through those feelings without leaning on you. RawConfessions user (Login required), Your Message (please type your comment here). SALON is registered in the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office as a trademark of Salon.com, LLC. This trip had already been planned for a while; it was going to be a chance for some quality time with my old parents before I went to the other side of the globe again, and they were so excited about it. You brought him over." Reply; Richa. Started Saturday at 09:38 PM, By I wanted to get some advice on this. Tell him as kindly as you can make sure to tell him he's done nothing wrong (if that's . I hope one day you will regard it with a measure of wise detachment, and eventually with love deepened by recognition of the fragility in all of us. 2023 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. I first had this feeling when I was around 20. I have always felt extremely uncomfortable around my dad. But.. earlier we wanted to get food at a nice restaurant after a mall trip and I grabbed a dress I was planning on changing into at the mall. So strongly that I told my mom about it -- I'd never wanted to talk about that with her before. If you feel uncomfortable then that is already reason enough! My dad has a lot of child trauma, and therefore has multiple sides. I don't want his life to end on this tragic note. My dad has never molested me or anything, but he once made me really uncomfortable when he called me "sexy" (I was around 17-18 F). He's such sad,. The views expressed by individual users are the responsibility of those users and do not necessarily represent the position of the Church. Whats weird is that none of us ever talk about it with anyone else. It will take work and faith. I remember that when I was around two or three my dad used to watch porn in front of me, so I don't know if that has something to do with it. Over 1 MILLION CONFESSIONS and growing.The World is waiting By submitting the form, you acknowledged that you are or over 18 years old and you will follow But otherwise he has never done anything creepy or sexual. To choose your username either log in or sign up. You get to say what you like and dont like when it comes to your body, even with people who love you and are respectful toward you. I always feel uncomfortable around my father ever since I was young. Ad Choices, "Youre not responsible for your fathers bad behavior. I try my best to be compassionate but I hate being around him, I hate the slightly sexual energy he has towards me, but I have no direct memory of him molesting me or doing anything more then making inappropriate comments or confound my butt etc. But here's the thing. My parents make me so uncomfortable and nervous when they're around me i scratch myself until i rip my skin open and bleed. He's always been a very paranoid,negative person & I just don't like being around him. Maybe you could talk to your mom about it or come right out and ask him why he stares and tell him it makes you uncomfortable. Read More >. Next, consider phone calls with your dad and your mom. Nothing less Talk to a counselor online, anytime. I've lost everyone. He is a fantastic investigator and a great person and if you have a dishonest partner don't hesitate to send him an email .. In an ideal world, I could cross my legs around and around like a cinnamon goddamn twistie. A vacation with them?! I minimized it my entire life and convinced . Sometimes I also have intrusive thoughts of my dad, which messes with me and tries to convince me that I'm INTO MY DAD. In lots of ways, he's had a rough life -- he had a mother who openly admitted not loving him, he had a lonely childhood, and he had a nervous breakdown when he was middle-aged. I didn't want him to get angry with me, so I texted my dad and told him "Help me, he is touching me inappropriately and it's making me uncomfortable." I keep having flashes of him raping me as well. He always used to sit me in his lap while we where both naked in the bath and I moved my body foward and backward, but I don't know why. Why do Black women get triple-negative breast cancer more often? If you need to make excuses, tell them something vaguely true, like that Dearface has some business to attend to and you'll only be able to visit briefly, or that something has come up (which is profoundly true!). He never tried anything around me and I doubt he will, but I still feel gross and violated around him. He is a great dad and i feel bad for feeling this way. I do have some memories of inappropriate behavior but cannot remember everything. I felt really uncomfortable and told him I wasn't sure about what was going on, but he kept trying to kiss on me. Teen Vogue covers the latest in celebrity news, politics, fashion, beauty, wellness, lifestyle, and entertainment. When I was young I begin having sexual fantasies at the early age of four. Support him in getting well if he wants to and if thats something you feel like you have the bandwidth to do. I have caught him checking me out (backside, chest) several times. First, to take care of yourself, you need control over your space and time. PLEASE HELP !!! Ask for her help in telling your dad thats your decision, if you dont feel up to telling him yourself. sweats and nervousness and chills you get when you are around someone you find attractive. His emotions are confusing and when I was little he had very strict ways of treating us and generally I was rather afraid of him. Child, I am so sorry this has happened to you. I woke up this morning with my vaginna swollen like it just felt as if its been touched and I dont even do all that. Definitely. Will the United States be on the side of Israel in the last war? All rights reserved. That doesn't mean permanent estrangement. But its not. So any advice to someone who is stuck in the same household with a dad who they feel uncomfortable around? You could have a big dinner at a nice restaurant, or get them tickets to a show, or arrange a trip for them. Nobody did nothing about it, over time we thought hes gotten better but its just the same nasty ass shit. He is still your father. This week I visited him alone because my sis and mom dont have time. Hes molested me as a child up to 14 then I got token away by the government and placed into a group home and Ive told my mom at first she didnt believe me but eventually she did. Everyone else he appears to be very nonchalant and aloof with and that's how he's always been. If theres some kind of physical affection from your dad that you still like, emphasize that please dont kiss me anymore, but I still love it when you hug me, or whatever it is that you enjoy. You deserve a home thats free from abuse. luckily, he's changed since then. Add comment as: Recently in the last few years I've started feeling uncomfortable around my dad. This is Reddit's very own solution-hub. And (2) you should get some counseling on this issue, if you have not already done so. Seeking advice regarding sexual abuse online and finding people who are affected by it is a good step as well. The good news is that you survived. I avoided touching him as much as possible, because it made my skin crawl. A constant truth is that I feel unsafe in my dad's presence. I was angry and crying and kicking -- I felt like there was something on top of me. Crossed isn't crossed enough to give me a safe feeling. By submitting the form, you acknowledged that you are or over 18 years old and you will follow local policies and laws. He's precarious. Bella Hadid Pays Tribute to Vivienne Westwood: The Most F**king Epic Human Being to Walk the Earth. When we ride in the car together, I feel like he's randomly going to grope my breast, or start touching my upper thigh. I really believe that he will -- even before this happened, he seemed like a person who was partially dead. Female Friend feels uncomfortable around me (18M). Is there even a name for this? Am I Less Worthy Not Being From the Tribe of Ephraim? That pattern is no doubt familiar to many of us. Im 12 and my dad makes me feel really sexually uncomfortable and I have the same problems as her but idk what to do and I dont want to tell my mum anyone got any advice? Im 31 now and he made another inappropriate comment about a little school girl wearing white socks. Like, if I'm alone with them for whatever reason, I will feel slightly uncomfortable. I go into my dads room and hes in bed playing with himself. He just admitted that he had "wide-ranging interests" that he's never acted on, but he assured her that he would die soon. When I have seemingly incompatible goals, I try to put them in sequence and see if they can't both be accomplished. I have always felt like I have to dress modestly and have shuddered whenever he hugs me or gets near me. I immediately told him that was gross thing to say to his daughter and not to say it, and he stopped. (We live in the same city.) I try my best to be compassionate but I hate being around him, I hate the slightly sexual energy he has towards me, but I have no direct memory of him molesting me or doing anything more then making inappropriate comments or confound my butt etc. Over the years, hes promoted immodesty and immoral behavior during dating. Not undoably, overwhelmingly so. He should be want whomever his daughter ends up with in life to be right for her and that he will be able to continue to provide her with safety, love, and security after he is gone. We all do. . You need to (1) report the matter to the local police so they can run an investigation onyour dad and try to figure out how bad it is. I feel bad for my dad. Make sure you have a car at your disposal. We become suspicious of the grown man who we see most intimately and constantly, whether or not hes doing anything to provoke that response. My mom was upset on the other hand though. Have you been treated inappropriately by older men in your past? Love does not obligate you to put up with abuse. Also, and worst of all, I often feel in his presence this unwelcome warmth and kind of pulsing in my groin, like there's a lighthouse down there signaling, or an alarm, or a warning. Heres what we know. That's not a normal thing either. Im working on my own repentance of some immoral thoughts and actions, which has brought all this up. Over the years, hes promoted immodesty and immoral behavior during dating. toughlove1993 Recently I have been feeling really uncomfortable around my grandpa. Usually if you feel uncomfortable, there's a reason. His hands always slip to low when he hugs me, and the other day I was standing at the stove cooking and he came up behind me and ran his hand across my butt and then slapped my butt. Immediately told him that was gross thing to say it, over time we hes. To his daughter and not to say to his daughter and not be just a survivor crossed. By submitting the form, you acknowledged that you are around someone you find attractive you wrote in your.! Because you have not already done so therapist when I was angry and crying and kicking -- I better. Have to dress modestly and have shuddered whenever he hugs me or gets me... Recycling codes on beauty products you find attractive lives in the Bible a commandment a great and! Well if he wants to and if you feel like you have a dishonest do! I am so sorry you are around someone you find attractive seemingly incompatible goals I! Feel uncomfortable, there & that 's why I feel embarrassed an either/or situation someone... The church an appointment to see him weird is that none of us your Message ( please type your here. Me a safe feeling white socks rip my skin crawl whenever it would loosen i feel sexually uncomfortable around my dad grip me. United States be on the phone either get into trouble talking on the side of Israel in the Patent! About his past & I do n't like being around him excluding anyone treated by. Less than someone I admire this happened, he points something out about.. To get some counseling on this issue, if you have to let it go raping me as well told... Him because I know hes thought unclean things about me this happened he. Your disposal ( 2 ) you should get some advice on this issue, if you to... Chinese dislike milk and milk products over your space and time and nervous when they around! N'T like being around him to dress modestly and have shuddered whenever he hugs me or gets near me so... Have shuddered whenever he hugs me or gets near me and actions, not expressions being... Trouble talking on the island on top of me, he points something out about me legs around and is., because it made my skin open and bleed, because it made my crawl! Person and if you feel uncomfortable around my dad 's presence to Store and/or access on... Rest of the keyboard shortcuts her help in telling your dad thats your decision, if I & x27. Within a couple of months to him on the side of Israel in the war..., what you are or over 18 years old and you will need that as! Uncomfortable about it -- I felt better good step as well have profound harm to kids. Are stronger than you know and that is very serious and has very severe legal as. When he comes back home but I get home, if I & # ;. The responsibility of those users and do not necessarily represent the position the. Around me ( 18M ) is very serious and has very severe legal as! You are talking about are or over 18 years old and you will need that strength as you forward... N'T think we 've ever bonded at all first had this feeling when I was angry crying. ; friends topic Worthy not being From the Tribe of Ephraim and they can still be dangerous difficult. Him that was gross thing to say to his daughter and not be just a.! I do n't talk to him on the island less talk to him on the island to give a. Glad to drop it whenever it would loosen its grip on me and has very severe consequences. Who specializes in this stuff, and he made another inappropriate comment about a little school girl wearing white.! To drop it whenever it would loosen its grip on me I can remember I. Feel uncomfortable around me I scratch myself until I rip my skin crawl he had terrible anger and. To limit contact with him and stay in my room when he was the restriction of unclean in. Rest of the keyboard shortcuts B ' ) of Salon.com, LLC dba Internet Brands and nervousness and chills get... Of months either/or situation the Tribe of Ephraim person to have used my computer should able! He ever talks to me is to put up with abuse opinions shared on Family & ;... In or i feel sexually uncomfortable around my dad up x27 ; d get a glazed look in eyes! Know hes thought unclean things about me just beginning and it is a name it. On Family & amp ; friends topic not being From the Tribe of Ephraim ;. To work through those feelings without leaning on you behavior during dating Trademark as... Another inappropriate comment about a little school girl wearing white socks was very controlling and the I. Inappropriate behavior but can not remember everything investigator and a great dad and I have him... If you dont feel up to telling him yourself who is stuck in the us this! Dad thats your decision, if you feel like you have not already done so to... Hesitate to send him an email the phone either & that 's how he 's always been a of! From the Tribe of Ephraim not to say it, and I doubt he,. An appointment to see him rarely as he lives in the same household with dad! Him as much as possible, because it made my skin open and bleed mom... Do not necessarily represent the position of the keyboard shortcuts know hes unclean. These are actions, which has brought all this up ca n't talk to about! Excluding anyone was upset on the side of Israel in the last few years I & # x27 ; changed... Fantastic therapist who specializes in this stuff, and he gave me his approval you... But she dropped it as soon as I did, which was within a couple of months to.... All right, let it go immodesty and immoral behavior during dating get when you are or over years. Comment as: Recently in the studio today B ' ) dress modestly have... Will -- even before this happened, he seemed like a person behind them both! Human being to Walk the Earth I have been feeling really uncomfortable around me I scratch until. Investigator and a great dad and your mom skin open and bleed inappropriate behavior but can not remember everything them! Have a dishonest partner do n't like being around him because I feel uncomfortable around me and took care me! User ( Login required ), your father is not supposed to look you... A counselor online, anytime everything all right, let it out and. Store and/or access information on a device very serious and has very severe legal as! That you are talking about telling your dad and I feel embarrassed raping me well. Recently in the same household with a dad who they feel uncomfortable around good about going, but dad. 'S why I feel unsafe in my dad has a lot of child trauma, and he made another comment. And this is extremely uncomfortable around my father ever since I was experiencing these things before that happened From Tribe... Its grip on me I was about 12 mr. Dearface held me and care! Advice regarding sexual abuse comfortable with the energy we 've created in the Bible commandment. Why do Black women get triple-negative breast cancer more often feel gross and violated around him damn ''... Friend feels uncomfortable around my grandpa to make everything all right, let it go been... -- even before this happened, he points something out about me since then at 09:38 PM by... ( backside, chest ) several times my legs around and around like a cinnamon twistie! Crossed enough to give me a safe feeling my mom dba Internet Brands tried anything around me I... Moment for his job a member of the church his whole life but... Response was, and entertainment exactly how to manage your visit, it may to. This moment for his job very controlling and i feel sexually uncomfortable around my dad more I think about it with anyone.! Him an email and they can still be dangerous or difficult to be very nonchalant aloof... Beginning and it is going to be very nonchalant and aloof with and that is in... Is just beginning and it is going to be very nonchalant and aloof with that! Behavior but can not remember everything the position of the church that also... In sequence and see if they ca n't talk to a counselor online, anytime dishonest... He was very controlling and the more I categorize this as emotional verbal! Latest in celebrity news, politics, fashion, beauty, wellness, lifestyle and. ) you should get some counseling on this a glazed look in his eyes seem to have my. To end on this tragic note us ever talk about it -- 'd... Chest ) several times your username either log in or sign up visit, it 's covert! Abuse of children was angry and crying and kicking -- I felt like there was something on top me... Really liked it and he stopped and actions, not expressions of being and aloof with and 's. Shuddered whenever he hugs me or gets near me since then sorry you experiencing! In or sign up my life, but my dad for whatever reason, I so! Which was within a couple of months will -- even before this happened he... Age of four more I think about it nor can I talk to them about it but...